Dear David,

     The question of why you did what you did has been on my mind recently. I wish that we could have realized that you were facing internal struggles (at least this is our assumption) and done something. I wonder what your thoughts were. When you talked to me you always seemed so happy. You were a fun person to talk to. I can't help but wish I knew what caused you to make that decision and if your mind could have been changed. Perhaps it is best not to know though because what is done can't be changed. I miss you David and I wish you hadn't have made that choice.

Love,
Your sister, forever and always, Jennifer

Comfort to my soul

Dear David,

      I can feel the reality of your death sinking in more and it hurts. I don't necessarily like how it feels to have this knowledge sink in, but at the same time I think it is best. Today as this knowledge troubled me I read in the scriptures and there is a verse I read that has brought comfort to my soul. It reads:

     "And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him ("him" being Christ) to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." (emphasis added) (1 Nephi 19:9).

     I emphasized the part that has comforted me. This scripture is about Christ and it helps give a glimpse of His goodness and mercy. Christ, as described in this scripture, is the person who will be your advocate, David. He will speak for you. Because of this, what have I to fear? I will see you again, David. I will see you because of what Christ has done for us. I am so, so grateful for this.

Love,
Your sister, forever and always, Jennifer

Dear David

Dear David,

     I feel like you would have really liked it here if you'd decided to come to college at BYU Idaho. It's a great school. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to go here.
     The question of what you would have studied and become has crossed my mind. It saddens me that I will never know. I wish that you hadn't have ended your life so that I could have seen. I know that whatever you would have chosen, that you could have excelled.
      David, I feel like the fact that you are no longer here is sinking in a little more. It's a slow process, but I think that it is becoming more real for me.
      I love and miss you David. I wish you were still here.

Love,
Your sister, forever and always, Jennifer

Little Things

Dear David,
   
      I feel like it is the little things that remind me of you now. It can be something said in class, an activity you used to like, or something along those lines. I can't help but wonder if there will always be things to remind me of you. I don't think this is a bad thing. As time has passed I don't feel overwhelming sadness anymore when I have these reminders.
     I love you David and wish that you could still be here. It would be nice to really be able to talk to you again.

Love,
Your sister, forever and always, Jennifer

Dear David,
   
      I'm back in school (I just started this week) and life has gotten extremely busy. Despite being so busy I don't think a day passes by when I don't think about you. You seem to be on the back of my mind. I love you David. Be glad that you don't have to deal with homework anymore. I'm sure that you are loving that fact.

Love,
Your sister, Forever and Always, Jennifer