Eulogy

For my brother's service I gave a eulogy of him and would like to share that here. I really hope that my brother can be remembered in this light.

David, Beloved Brother

            Even as a small child David had a sense of humor. My mother shared an early memory of him coming over to her laughing. He pulled her over to a trashcan. He thought that something was really funny and he couldn’t talk yet, so he pointed while laughing at the trashcan. There, in the trashcan, my mother found a washcloth. He had thrown it in and thought it to have disappeared. He did this a few more times and also threw balls and washcloths into the sink to make them disappear.  

His humor continued to grow with him. He always could make us laugh and smile. Without him meaning to he gave us another story which has kept us laughing for years. When we moved to Chino Hills we still needed cement to be put in. He was about three at this time and outside while it happened. When the cement had been poured my mother told him not to touch it and he told her he wouldn’t. When my mom came back she found him drawing with a stick in it. When she questioned him he proudly exclaimed, “It’s okay mommy! I didn’t do it, the stick did it.” The cement couldn’t be completely fixed. They tried to smooth it out, but that cement remains rough to this day.

Like us David has been an animal lover. His favorite stuffed animal was Pellet, a stuffed animal hamster, which he always took with him. He loved stuffed animal cats and other such animals. He and I played with them and also pretended to be different animals. Though David didn’t always agree with the pets we acquired he was always nice to them and didn’t say anything negative.

David recently enjoyed computer games, his DS, books, anime, hiking, basketball, ping pong, watching movies, and church. For a long time David loved his DS and had multiple games that he liked to play on it. He got more into computer games as time passed. I believe mainly Facebook games. While Amber and I were at college he asked Amber to play a few computer games with him so that they could spend time together. Amber did and enjoyed chatting with him with instant message while they played.

All of his life David has been a great church member. He always went to church and would even open the door for us. I’d grown so used to it that one time when he was away I waited in front of the church door for him to open it and had to be reminded that he wasn’t there. Shortly before David’s death I heard that he gave a really good talk about education. Haru also discovered that one of his old Facebook passwords was “temple”. David always did what he was asked to at church such as collecting fast offerings and home teaching. I remember having really good conversations with him about church. These memories are ones I shall always cherish.

The legacy that I wanted to stress about David was his two hearts. On the side of his face were freckles that formed a perfect heart. I do not believe that this was there by mistake. Not only does David mean “beloved”, but he lived in such a way that it was like he had two hearts worth of love. We always used to tease him about this, but I believe that this is because all of us really liked his freckle heart.

There are many examples of how David lived a life filled with enough love for two hearts. Even when he became stronger than us he was always gentle and worked hard not to hurt us. Nicole told me a story of how when she played basketball with him he always went easy on her. He was always patient and encouraging with her even when she didn’t feel like she could make a basket. She said they never actually played the game since she wasn’t good enough, but that he liked just trying to get baskets with her.

My brother never wanted to burden people with his problems. I believe he did this out of kindness, though we wish that he would have opened up more. He knew that we all faced hard things and I don’t think he wanted to add to our problems. He also never boasted even when he did really well or got an award. My mother showed me some awards he got for classes that he excelled in. When a subject fascinated him he did really well and I believe got A’s. David was really smart and liked hard subjects like physics, hard math classes, and psychology. I remember him sharing cool things he learned about psychology and I loved hearing what he learned.

Even as a small child he had a big heart. My brother loved our Pokémon cards and one day Nicole’s went missing. Nicole knew that he had to have taken them, but didn’t blame him. We all searched for them and couldn’t find where they were. David decided to let Nicole borrow his special Pokémon cards so that she wouldn’t miss hers so much until we found them. Nicole believed this to be a way to help cover up that he’d taken them, but she still didn’t blame him. A good few months later someone found Nicole’s cards up on top of the fridge where she had hidden them so that they couldn’t be stolen. David hadn’t taken hers at all and when he let her borrow his cards, there was no ulterior motive.

Something I love about my brother is his willingness to give people a chance. Despite the adversity around him he did what he thought was right, which was to give living with my father a chance. None of us before him had thought to do this, but David was willing to try.

I love all that my brother is and what he has taught me through the life he lived. The memory of him that comes to mind as I think about him now is a smiling, laughing, happy boy. A brother that could make me feel good just by talking to him. I remember talking to him on the phone and feeling happier after I did. Despite people saying that something like this always leaves a hole in your heart, I do not want this for me. I want to be able to think of my brother and smile as his memory brings joy and happiness to me. I do not want his death to be the end of the happiness that he shared with me. I want the hole that I now feel to be filled with love, happiness, and joy towards his memory.

I’ve tried to ponder what I can learn from this and what David would want me to know and share. As I thought about this there are a few thoughts that came to mind. One such thought was how when an event like this happens we tend to only think about the good about that person and forget about the bad. I believe that the Savior always sees us in such a light. I’ve decided that I want to try to view people around me in such a way. I want to see them with love and understanding.

A message that I feel like David would like me to share came to me in this simple phrase, “No more hating, just loving.” Also I think that everyone in my family has felt the simple message that “It’s okay,” whenever we feel sad or when we start to feel regret. I have felt like whenever I’ve felt the slightest bit of regret that I’ve been told, “Stop, don’t go there. It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself about anything.” I feel like David doesn’t want any of us to hold regrets or blame ourselves or others for this. I believe this because of the example he set during his life and because of how he lived up to having the extra heart that was outwardly displayed by freckles.

I will always love my brother as I know all of my family will. He will always remain in our hearts, in our thoughts, and in our lives. May the memory we all hold be of him laughing and smiling and bringing joy into our lives.