Dear David

For my post today I want to do what I call a "Dear David" post. For this I would like to write as if I were talking to him.

Dear David,

     Yesterday I seemed to think about you a lot. I don't think there was any main thing to cause me to, but I did. When I think about you though my mind seems to try to block out the fact that your actually dead. Last night though I could see a picture of you where I sat. It made me start thinking about you. This time I tried to actually digest the fact that you were dead. I think it sunk in a little more and that hurt. It made me cry. I remember thinking last night, "The boy I remember just can't be dead. No, not the laughing, smiling boy I know. Not the one that sounded so happy and was so much fun to be around. No, my brother can't be dead."
     I wonder to myself how something as terrible as your death could actually be. And how can I ever truly believe it? Do I even want to believe it? There is a part of me that does. I want to because I believe it could help me move on. But, then there is a part of me that doesn't. It keeps pushing the fact aside.
     There is something I wish I could really tell you David in person, but I guess this will have to do. I love you and am proud of you. I'm grateful for the time I had with you. Of course I wish I could have had more. I really wanted to get to know you better, but at least I had the time that I did. I miss you and wish that I could see you. I wish that I could talk to you for one last time. I remember after learning about your death saying, "I just want to give him one more hug, just one more hug." I wish I could do that. Would you like to know something really cool though? Our cousin was at your service. Do you remember how he is also tall and kind of skinny like you? When he hugged me I kinda felt like it was you. I felt like, in a sense, I was getting my one last hug from you. I like to believe that you could feel that hug too.

Love,
Your sister Jennifer